Armor
I wear invisible armor all the time, I think most women have to just to get through the day. Its a sort of emotional armor against the ubiquitous misogynist prejudice and blatant objectification existing everywhere. I can never quite relax, because as soon as I let myself feel free, along will come something to show me how inferior or poorly regarded I am. Dare I relax and watch or read something funny online, a comic I like, a show I find amusing? Sooner or later there will be something stupidly misogynist, such as in this week’s Dilbert, with its “meeting of insane women who imagine people are out to get them” or something. This is funny, see, all those paranoid women who imagine for some insane reason that the world is filled with men who hate them. It couldn’t possibly be that woman hating is well established in reality. Or a cool progressive speaker or band or comedian who just has to mention every once in a while something about how horrible feminists are or talk disparagingly about those prudish anti-sex people trying to taint the sacred free speech by taking away their porn, which is just speech to them, of course, because porn consists of pictures of objects and not pictures of real people. Or commiserate with someone about generalized stupidity in the larger population and they bring up as an example those idiotic non-penis owners who are dumb enough to think they can walk around at night and enter an establishment which sells alcohol and actually purchase some, relax, and expect to not be violently sexually violated on the way home. We all know freedom of travel and other adult privileges are for men only – duh! Or, of course, the completely unsolicited yell of disgust, derision, or sexual innuendo from a passing SUV.
This is the experience of my daily life. I must constantly be prepared for the possibility that at any moment I will be reminded that I am considered unimportant, an object of derision, an object for men’s lust; someone to be treated like a child, to be mocked, judged, insulted. This is the emotional armor I must wear everywhere, to keep from getting hurt. And it is heavy.
July 7, 2006 at 7:14 am
You are not alone.
July 8, 2006 at 12:24 am
Hey Amananta – sharing that weight, here.
Also sharing the fight against it.
Eloquent post that says it all. Thank you.
July 9, 2006 at 2:00 am
WOW. For the past two weeks I have been allowing myself for the first time to really obsess over the fact that I HAVE to shut my mouth if I want to survive and I don’t want people to lock me up for being so “paranoid” about how I can’t even EXIST without being judged in disgusting ways, and I’ve been having a REALLY hard time with it. This post helped me a LOT.
July 10, 2006 at 11:26 am
Thank you for a wonderful and glaringly accurate post.
August 4, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Jenifer – please understand my blog is not a forum to sell your product.
August 21, 2006 at 2:42 am
not selling products just endorsing messages that go along with exactly what you happen to be declaring…since ALL net profits of my company are being donated to two incredibly worthy causes this is not an opportunity to advertise, believe me that happens on an almost daily basis. Thought you might want to mutually agree to the messages on the shirts being exactly what YOU might be needing…not your blog reader’s.
September 16, 2006 at 8:16 pm
Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. I forget who said it, but yeah, I don my armor daily.