Feminism, Racism, Religion, Ethnocentrism, War & Peace

Yeah, that narrows it down a bit, yes? My life interests revolve around things I am not supposed to discuss at cocktail parties, which, incidentaly, are really boring, which is why people are drinking so many cocktails – nothing interesting to talk about.

Today I went to a peace rally. I had heard about it earlier in the week and planned to stop by on my lunch break. Then a really disturbing thing happened between me and a local friend on my regular blog. I made a post there about how this freaking war and bombing stuff just needs to stop – which is my position on all wars, as I am a pacifist, and people started arguing over who is better, Palestine or Israel, and I had to disable comments as soon as I saw it beginning, because it never comes to any good end. I live in the northeast, I have a few Jewish friends, but I don’t really have any Muslim or Middle Eastern friends though (okay let’s be honest – I have hardly any friends because I’m usually at home writing on my blog or playing video games, ha ha) and the friends I have managed to make I like to keep. BUT I also am not the kind of person who usually can keep her mouth shut about what she believes in even when she knows it will upset other people, although I try to be as diplomatic as someone who probably has Asperger’s Syndrome can ever be. (My son has it and he acts just like I did as a kid, which was way back when no one really looked for that sort of thing.) So anyway I made this post about wanting peace immediately no matter who thought they were right, and one of my local Jewish friends got unhappy about it. So he posted something about the whole thing and basically was justifying Israel’s actions (even though he expresses some discomfort with them) and then asked for people’s thoughts on what they should do. I foolishly thought he wanted to hear my thoughts so I responded by telling him that I thought all bombing should stop RIGHT NOW, and he got upset about that and so did at least two other people, and they threw all kinds of analogies at me to try to trip me up from my pacifist standpoint and said things insinuating I was biased against Israel. And that is what infuriates me about the whole discussion about Israel and Palestine – if you say the violence is wrong, you always get accused of being biased against either the Jews or the Muslims. And no matter how many times I clearly stated that I DON’T CARE WHO IS RIGHT, I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO STOP GETTING BLOWN UP, he would not quit twisting my words and trying to wring some sort of anti-Israel statement out of what I said. So I pretty much gave up and told him so. Now mind you, this is not someone who is a raving conservative or an asshole – he is pro-feminist, pro-gay rights, liberal, kind, intelligent and friendly – but get him on the subject of Israel and Palestine and everything is suddenly very black and white. And there are so many people like this, and sadly, this is why I believe the war will NEVER end.

But as I told him, I have to try. So in my frustration after this exchange, I went looking on line for a group I had heard of which started in Israel, Israeli and Palestinian women calling for peace and standing together – Women in Black. I found out they had a local mailing list and signed up, and it turns out they were going to be at this peace rally, so I wore black clothes today (which is not really unusual) and went.

There were a lot of Muslims at the rally, some hippie types, some other various locals, some orthodox Jewish men holding signs that said “The Torah forbids a Jewish state“, and the Women in Black. I introduced myself – they were nice, mostly older than me, they gave me a sign to hold. I had heard there was going to be an Islamic prayer service at one, soon enough it began. And here my discomfort started.

I have never seen an Islamic or Muslim service before, the singing part at the beginning sounded nice. It was led by a man – of course, I wouldn’t expect much different froma patriarchal religion – but I saw the men all sat in front, and the women all sat behind them. And this just makes me TWITCH. No, I’m not going to say anything to them, it isn’t my place, but I can’t help but feel aggravated. All the things women ar supposed to do – cover themselves up, sit behind the men so men won’t be tempted by them, and the rationale – “But men just can’t help themselves or concentrate on God if they are distracted by a woman!” So let me get this straight – men can’t control themselves, so WOMEN have to take steps? Since men can’t control themselves if they happen to see a woman when they are supposed to be praying, why don’t THEY wear BLINDFOLDS? Women are always supposed to be doing things to avoid men who can’t help themselves, it’s ridiculous.

Well then, of course, I feel that maybe I shouldn’t even dare to have a critical thought, since I’m a white American girl who was raised Christian and therefore just doesn’t get it. Not that I’m Christian anymore, but still. And it isn’t like any of the other religions of the book are any less patriarchal, they just express it in different ways. But… I put women first, I put women before religion or national borders or any of that other stuff. Because women’s concerns are ALWAYS supposed to be the least important. But in the end, if Muslim women want change within their religion they will have to make it for themselves. Still – it bothered me to see it.

Speaking of race and religion, I was apprised of this post by an lj blogger recently. And I am in total agreement up until the very end, where the poster declares that all gods and goddesses are not one. Now earlier she points out, and quite rightly, that most white pagans will say the goddess is one and then present an icon of her as a pale blond white woman. This is ridiculous – theologically, the concept of all gods and/or goddesses being one is a reference to a divine spirit which lies common in all of humanity or transcendent to humanity. Also, I find eclecticism valuable. I have heard a lot lately about how this makes me a bad person who has culturally misappropriated other people’s cultures in my worship. Perhaps this makes me insensitive, but I DON’T BUY IT. I do recognize that many white people do stupid things concerning other people’s cultures – however, I am not going to deny my relationship with the goddesses I worship because someone else doesn’t like it. I am not trying to make money through my worship, I am not trying to insult anyone, I don’t even actually go elsewhere to practice my spirituality.

I want to know – what religion do people think I am supposed to follow in order to NOT be culturally appropriating something from someone? I was raised Christian but I am vehemently opposed to the Christian faith as it is practiced pretty much everywhere – and despite it’s current status as a sort of default religion for white people, it didn’t start as a white person’s religion. I am not interested in converting to Judaism or Islam, and I would also be an outsider there. This would be even more of the case with Hinduism, BUddhism, or any of the faiths practiced by people in Asia. To be truly ethnically ancestrally correct, what I ought to practice is whatever revival of Celtic Druidic faiths now exist, and to the extent I can, I do. But these are not the only goddesses that speak to me, and yes, many of the goddesses that do speak to me are from Africa – like the blogger to whom I linked above, I am devoted to Yemaya and have an altar to her in my room, although the goddesses who call to me most are Oya, Kali, and the Morrigan. (I lived most of my life in the New Orleans area, where many of the traditional African religions are still alive in the form they took after being brought here by kidnapped Africans who were often forced to make a surface conversion to Catholicism – they survive in the US, particularly New Orleans and Southern Florida, as Santeria and Voodoo, both of which bear little resemblance to the freaky horror movie version you may have seen.) The blogger mentioned seems to hope Kali will smite me – let me say here I openly welcome her to do so if she thinks I am doing wrong. However I can say so far I have not had this experience with her.

I don’t want to be oppressive of anyone through my behavior, and I am not going to tell a person of color how they hould be worshipping a deity worshipped by their ancestors or what that deity is *really* like. All I can say is that I truly believe I have a personal relationship with these deities and no amount of political discussion is going to change that for me. I honestly do not want to hurt anyone through my words. But sometimes I feel very attacked, between all the religions of the book on one side demanding converts to their cause or killing each other, the large majority of American pagans who do engage in the obnoxious practices mentioned in her post (as well as other obnoxious behaviors she doesn’t even begin to touch), the majority middle class Wiccans who brand me a Satanist because I like those icky “dark goddesses” (yes, they really use that term, apparently with little recognition of the racist overtones of what they are saying)… and I could go on and on. I am not a theologically popular person. I don’t really care much about popularity – I am more concerned with being right with the goddesses than what people think of me. But it does hurt me to think that someone could be so hurt and offended by my worship. Then I wonder if I’m really just being unforgiveably ethnocentric.

I’ve heard it said by some people of color that white people who think they are misfits are really just trying to align themselves with the oppressed so they don’t have to feel guilty about being white, and perhaps there is some truth to that. I truly am a misfit, however, and I really don’t think I have done this on purpose out of some sense of white guilt. It does often seem, though, that whatever idea I come up with is incredibly unpopular with almost everyone for a variety of different reasons. I am not trying to be difficult. Indeed, I used to try obsessively to fit in and try to find some group of people, either religious or political or social, that would accept me. One day in the grandest epiphany of my life and under circumstances I am not comfortable relaying on line, I got to a point where I realized I had to just start everything for myself from scratch and stop looking for the place where I “really belonged” – that I needed to create my own “belonging”. In keeping with this, I changed my name, started a chosen family, and started an informal family-based pagan practice. This is my home and where I belong. I don’t like people attacking it and saying it is somehow offensive to others. My “family” consists of various people: atheists, pagans, Satanists, punks, magickians, Thelemites, straights, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered, sci-fi geeks, and so forth. My biological family doesn’t want me because I’ve turned my back on Jesus, or so they think (I have less of a problem with Jesus than I do a greedy, hypocritical church). Accordingly, almost every group has some reason to point to me and my family and tell us how off base we are – you know, we’ve heard it all before. I am just weary of it, honestly.

So this is the story of my afternoon and the varied philosohical / religious / political problems that plague my brain like gnats.

Explore posts in the same categories: Pacifism, Racism, Religion